


The War Goes On

by arkylarn



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005), Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Gallifrey, Time War (Doctor Who), Time War Angst (Doctor Who)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:06:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24029335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arkylarn/pseuds/arkylarn
Summary: The Time War is over, and Susan escaped. Barbara and Ian have been helping her get back on her feet, but she has been a difficult roommate. When Barbara is transported to a strange planet, she knows right away that Susan is involved, but she does not realize that she is about to see a world of horrors...
Relationships: Ian Chesterton/Barbara Wright
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	The War Goes On

“Susan… Susan!”

Barbara Chesterton was currently not very happy with the alien. Neither was Ian. How were they expected to be? She showed up at their house, unannounced and seemingly near death. Oh… She had been so faint. So weak. All they wanted to do was help her, and they did.

She did not tell them much about what had happened, but Barbara and Ian got the gist of it. There had been some sort of war, and she had fought in it. It was horrible to think about, but they were glad they could provide any sort of comfort to her. Truthfully, they were just happy to see her in general. Even though they were very glad to be home, they had missed the Doctor and Susan. They felt that inseparable bond once again, if just for a moment.

And then Susan got violent.

It was never outright violence; she never wanted to hurt anybody. It was just little things that quickly escalated. She had been playing with Johnny, their son, once. He was just old enough to sit and crawl, and when he got bored of messing with plastic blocks Susan swept him up into her arms and entertained him with a set of keys. Eventually it became evident that he was just hungry, so Ian went to grab him away from Susan to give to Barbara. But Susan refused to give him over. “Susan, he needs to eat,” Ian had laughed, “You can play with him again afterwards.” When she still would not give him over Ian tried to force him away, but she turned from him and would not let go. That was when Johnny started crying and Barbara freaked out at the realization that Susan was holding him much too tight and the next thing anyone knew, Ian was holding Susan back while Barbara tore Johnny from her grasp. Even once he was free from her, Susan protested. “No! No! Don’t take him away from me! It’s not safe!” Luckily, Johnny was fine.

Barbara had been ready to kick her out then. She loved Susan, of course, but she was obviously doing poorly and she could not risk having that around her family. They had worked so hard for the chance to have Johnny -- Barbara got defensive if someone so much as looked at him wrong, much less if they caused him to cry and scream. Ian was the one who convinced her to let her stay, only for a little while. Only until she could figure out where to go from there. They would keep a watchful eye on her and on Johnny.

The lack of sleep really had Barbara wishing that she would leave sooner rather than later. Everytime she laid down to go to sleep, it seemed, Susan would wake her up with her screaming. At first they had been very concerned, but after learning it was just some sort of night terrors they chose to ignore it. They wanted to help her, of course, but there was not much they could do, and they needed sleep, too.

“Hello?”

Barbara did not know where she was. She had first appeared outside the ruins and quickly made her way into them. She trekked through the sand around what had to have been a grand building. Most of the sandstone-like walls and columns lay to waste, but there were still some paths intact. The hallway that she found herself going down only had parts of the roof missing, though most of the rooms that were supposed to branch off it were completely destroyed. The heat from the alien sky burned her skin, but she carried on.

There was nothing extremely telling about the place that proved that Susan was involved, and yet Barbara still felt that she was. That was why she had been calling for her in the first place and was now looking for anything that could lead her to the girl.

Approaching another doorway, Barbara finally saw what she was looking for. Unlike the other rooms, the one that Susan was in was not very destroyed at all. A piece of the wall at the far end was cut out to make a low down window, and a table was overturned and pushed against it, almost as if to provide some sort of cover. And sitting on the ground behind that table was Susan, though she did not look like the Susan that Barbara knew. No, her hair was long and unkempt, something unimportant and forgotten. She had a sort of maturity about her that did not come from age, but rather from stress. That stress was evident in the bags under her eyes, the kind that were so deep that they turned her skin off-color and made little lines appear.

And laying in her lap was a boy. Like Susan, he wore some sorry excuse for armor that only covered his upper body. The red clothes that he wore underneath the breastplate made it difficult to see the blood that was seeping from his side and dripping onto the sand, but it was undeniably there. His head was cradled against her leg and she was petting his hair.

Barbara could not make out what Susan was whispering, but it sounded almost like a song. She saw tears drip from Susan to the boy. Then Susan moved so that her hand was under the boy’s head and she placed him on the ground softly. She slowly stood up.

“They circumvented our communications blockade,” she said, staring at the ground, “We were ambushed.” She was about to say more as she looked up, but she was clearly surprised by who she saw.

“Susan…” Barbara started. She could not help but feel scared in such a strange environment, and one where Susan seemed so different. “What’s going on?”

Susan blinked, then shook her head. “You’re not real,” she scoffed. She turned and picked something up. A gun! Obviously Susan saw how nervous Barbara looked at its revelation because she soon added, “It’s not for you.”

“Oh…” Barbara did feel a little silly for suspecting Susan of something so devious, but her confusion outweighed that embarrassment. “Where are we?” There was no acknowledgment of the question from the Time Lord. “Susan?”

“So what are you, then?” she asked as she crouched down. She started to mess with something on the back of the fallen soldier. “A hallucination? A figment of my imagination? Some sort of weapon being used against me?” Her voice carried little emotion. “Am I going crazy, maybe?” She seemed to accomplish whatever she was trying to do because there was suddenly a little click noise and she pulled the armor off of the boy.

“I don’t know, Susan,” Barbara replied, her words drawn out distractedly. She watched Susan intently, so unsure of what was happening. “I don’t know what’s going on.”

“I think you do.”

Suddenly, they were no longer in the destroyed building in the middle of the desert. Tall walls materialized around Barbara, dark and made of stone. The roof seemed miles away, and long hallways stretched off in three directions. It almost appeared to be some sort of castle with its dim lights and cold atmosphere.

Susan was already walking down the long hall that stretched out in front of them, and Barbara had to jog to catch up. She no longer held the materials that she had stripped off the dead boy.

“I’m scared.”

“Aren’t we all?”

“Susan!” Barbara reached out and grabbed Susan by the shoulder, startled by the intense reaction that the Gallifreyan had to it. Susan pulled away and backed up, but at least it got her attention. “Susan, I don’t know what’s going on! Tell me what’s going on!”

She looked annoyed, as if Barbara’s fear and want for an explanation were irritants that she would rather not deal with. “You’re not real,” she repeated, “You already know everything.” Barbara was about to protest again, but Susan continued. “I don’t know why you would appear in her form. I haven’t seen Barbara in hundreds of years… Maybe thousands. I’ve lost track.”

Barbara furrowed her brows together, somehow more thrown off by the statement than anything else. “What are you talking about, Susan? You saw me just a little while ago.”

“And there’s that, too.  _ Susan_ . I’m not called that. Not here.” They made a sharp turn and suddenly they were in a sort of chamber with tiered wooden benches. Susan was no longer in her pathetic armor but instead in blue robes. Just like everything else, they were tattered and fading. Barbara turned and saw that the area they had come from was gone. “So why are you my psyche?” She faced Barbara. “Why you? Why not Alex or Veklin? The Doctor, even?”

Before Barbara could respond, both her and Susan’s attention were drawn to the benches. People who had not been there before suddenly sat on them, their robes making a sea of red with only a few other colors mixed in. Everybody looked just as tired as Susan.

“Arkytior!” the man at the very center of the group shouted, and he banged a gavel.

“Go away,” Susan hissed to Barbara as she started to step toward the center of the circle, “I don’t want you here.” She looked nervous as she approached the man, but she breathed out and held her shoulders high. All Barbara could do was watch.

“What happened out there?” he asked, glaring down at Susan from his high-risen seat.

“The Daleks surprised us,” she reported, “We thought that we had the communications jammed, but they knew where we were going to be. They ambushed us.”

“You killed the soldiers.”

“What?”

The man’s eyes suddenly turned a fiery sort of red, and everything around the room turned to darkness. Barbara rushed to Susan’s side as the man grew, his demonic face all that was before them.

“You killed them.”

“No!” Susan shouted, and no matter what she did it seemed that she could not look away from the face. “No! It was the Daleks!”

“You killed them! They trusted you and you let them be slaughtered. You, who always makes it out alive. Who always survives! At what cost?”

Barbara grabbed Susan, pulling her tight against her. She did not fully understand what was going on, but she did not need to. She was going to have none of this. As Susan sobbed into her shirt, Barbara rubbed her back and told her that it was going to be okay. That she was there and nothing was going to hurt her.

“Mum?”

This time, Barbara was the only one who turned to face the new voice. Susan kept her face buried against the schoolteacher in a way that told Barbara she was hiding.

“Mum!”

The boy was a good medium height with brunette hair and brown eyes. He had somewhat of an athletic build and was wearing clothing in an alternative style. And he was rather upset.

“Listen to me!” he demanded, and Susan finally turned around. Barbara held her tight, knowing that, even if Susan claimed to not want it, her support was crucial. The boy was calling her ‘mum,’ after all -- she wanted to ask, but she knew better. Now was not the time. Susan was scared, and, though she was scared, too, she was going to be there for her.

Susan just stared at the boy. Her eyes were wide as she tried to take everything in. She wanted to notice every little detail of his person. “Alex…” she whispered, finally.

“How could you, mum?” he asked. By her reaction, Barbara could tell that Susan already knew what he was referring to, but he continued anyway. “How could you kill me?”

“I didn’t kill you!” she cried, face flushing red as emotion overwhelmed her. “The Daleks did!”

“You let them!”

“No! I didn’t! That was the Doctor!” She sounded desperate as she tried to find some way to explain to him what she meant. “That was-”

“You.”

The new location where they were transported to was different. The air felt lighter. Physically, at least. The weird metallic room that they were in was still dark, with shafts of light the only thing making the room’s finer details visible.

And once again, Susan was cradling a dead boy. As Barbara watched, she noticed how much this boy looked like the soldier from before. Even though he was not bleeding, he was obviously dead.

There was no song this time, only tears. Loud tears; ones that Susan had not allowed herself with the previous dead boy. She did not stop sobbing when she spoke.

“I should have done more to stop him.”

Barbara gingerly stepped toward Susan, then bent down beside her. It was obvious up close that he was Susan’s son, and the way she held him only confirmed it. Suddenly Barbara understood Susan’s outburst with Johnny a little better.

“It’s not your fault, Susan,” she said, still staring at Alex. “Whatever happened, it’s not your fault.”

For several seconds, Susan was unable to respond. A fresh flood of tears poured out and she pulled him closer and lowered her head, crying into his shirt.

“Yes- Yes, it is,” she replied shakily once she was able to do so. “I’m supposed to protect him. That’s what a mother does. And I- I failed him.” She closed her eyes. “I failed him and-” She hugged the corpse against her, but it started to turn to dust. The harder she tried to just hold him, the quicker he disappeared. And then there was nothing. Susan sat on the ground and Barbara crouched beside her in the white nothingness. “And now I’m alone.”

In that moment, Barbara wanted to reach out and hold Susan’s hand -- let her know she was not alone. But she knew she would be rejected, so instead she allowed Susan to just stare off into the void. “Did he die in the war, too?” she asked quietly.

Susan shook her head, doing so with the kind of little chuckle that was reserved for silly questions. “No. Not the Time War. The Daleks invaded Earth again, after you left. He died so that Lucie and I would live.” She blinked, having been lost in thought for a moment. Susan did not have to say anything more; Barbara knew what she would add.  _ Like I would want to live without him _ . “Lucie died right after, anyway…”

“Susan…” Barbara said, but she did not know where to start. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too…” she mumbled. She moved one hand on the ground, as if there was anything there to stroke besides air. “But I’m glad he can’t see me now. He’d be so ashamed.”

“You are just doing what you have to.”

“I have to let them die? I have to go with those soldiers out there, like sacrifices for an enemy that we all know we are going to lose to?” she spits, but she is not mad at Barbara. She does not even look at her as she rages. But she soon calms down. “I didn’t even know his name, you know.”

“Who?”

“That soldier who had died. I didn’t know his name. I don’t know if he has family, or if they’re all already dead, too. I just thought he looked like Alex.”

Against her better judgement, Barbara reached for Susan’s hand. The Time Lady did not pull away, even as Barbara shuffled closer to her. Barbara hardly even noticed as their surroundings changed once again. They now sat at the edge of a high cliff, overlooking a planet with twin suns and orange grass. The cities that were visible were all on fire, and flying Daleks spotted the sky.

“Thank you, Barbara,” Susan said as she looked at the burning cities, “for being here. Even if you’re not real.”

“I love you,” Barbara replied, “And I will always love you, no matter what.”

And, for the first time in what felt like an eternity to the teacher, Susan smiled. She squeezed Barbara’s hand as she pushed herself up and turned around.

“MURDERER! MURDERER!” screeched the Dalek that Susan had turned to face. She did not let go of Barbara’s hand as she was killed.

Barbara woke with a start. Her heart beat rapidly as she sat up, but it quickly returned to normal as she realized where she was. Her own bedroom, under the covers, with Ian to her right and Johnny in his crib to her left. Obviously Susan had awoken as well, for there was a momentary loud scream.

As Barbara began to gently climb out of bed, she felt a hand grab her arm. “Barbara..?” Ian asked groggily, still half asleep, “Where are you going?”

“To check on Susan.”

“Oh, leave her alone. You know how she is… You’ll never get a good night’s rest if you check on her every time she yells out.”

“I’ll only be gone for a minute.”

Despite his protests, Ian gave in rather easily and soon fell back asleep.

Barbara had always suspected that Susan’s mental powers went beyond telepathy, but she never thought that she would be able to force others into her dreams. That must have been what happened -- it was all too real to be something that Barbara imagined on her own.

She knocked quietly and pushed open the door as gently as possible, hoping not to disturb the Gallifreyan. Yet Susan still jumped when she saw Barbara, and, on her bed, she backed herself up against the wall. “Go… go away!” she demanded.

“It’s just me. Barbara.”

“Go away!” she repeated, shuddering as Barbara walked closer. “Please.”

But Barbara would not go away. She sat on the bed and pushed herself against the wall next to Susan. She wrapped her arms around the girl and when she tried to break free she only held her tighter. When Susan stopped trying to fight her, Barbara started to gently brush her arm. They sat together in silence, minute after minute, Barbara satisfied in the fact that she was there for Susan, and Susan, for once, just allowing herself to be present in the moment without any sort of dark thoughts.

Eventually, it ended up so Susan was laying on Barbara’s lap. She closed her eyes as Barbara messed with her hair.

“I love you, too.”


End file.
